have I gone mad

the past four months left me wondering if I'm depressed; for a lack of motivation, for the -vity that has been plaguing my thoughts, for the lack of confidence in myself, and for the future, the constant worry that I am unable to consume.

the only thing that I'm certain of is our love. but even then love doesn't pay the bills. 

I've been shutting myself at home too much, closing doors, burning some bridges. until I have something to prove, until I'm making my own money, then I will be proud of myself. but that's not the solution, is it? 

maybe I have gone mad — that seems to be the reason.